I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
