she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
