i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
