This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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