she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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