Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
