Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
