And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
