I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
