Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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