Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
