I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I came so hard my ears popped.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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