i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
