ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
