i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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