I got chris browned last night
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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