I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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