Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
