five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize