Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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