I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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