Christians are straight up FREAKS
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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