She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
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