how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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