East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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