i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Randomize
