I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Randomize
