do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
