I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
