and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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