You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
no more duck duck goose at the bar
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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