Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
