Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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