Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
