If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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