His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize