I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
