I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
