your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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