Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
