you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
