remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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