I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
