I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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