I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
