Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
