I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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