Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
