Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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