you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
