hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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