Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize