I cockslap morals
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
