kristin has been a bad kristin
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
