She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
