Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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