My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
