I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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