hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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