walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
