He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
