How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
