I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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