What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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